23

Life at 23 is good. Very good. I'm thankful that I took these past few months to reflect on my life : past, present and future. After you graduate college, it's a weird time, especially if you don't go straight into a career. Before these past few months, all I wanted to do was travel. The words, "Why do I need a career?" actually came out of my mouth. But after I said it, I sat and thought about why I need a career. Well, first off, I have worked entirely too hard to get to where I'm at to throw it away or waste my talent doing a job that does not stimulate my mind in the way it's intended to. I recognized at a very young age that I would have to work harder than people around me. We're all dealt different cards and I knew what I was given, so I took those and got myself to where I am today. Of course, I've had people help me along the way, but ultimately I am the person to thank for being in the position that I'm in. And I am the person holding myself back. Often times, I won't try for things because I'm afraid to fail. I won't apply to jobs because I'm afraid of rejection. But all of that ends today. I refuse to let my fear of failing keep me from trying. 

I've figured out a lot about myself in the past 3 months and while I'm still not 100% about my next move, I just know that it will progress me into the future I want for myself. I want to be settled and going strong in my career within the next 2 years. I want that for myself and I deserve it. I don't regret anything in my life. I don't regret the trips I've taken, the people that I've met or the experiences I've experienced. But I am ready for a new chapter in my life and I am going to do anything it takes to get me there. 

Reflections

Recently my work was displayed at the Rowan County Arts Center in Morehead, KY. Here are some shots from the closing reception, held Tuesday, January 31st. At the reception, I was able to talk one on one with students from a Photography course and engage in conversation with members of the community. Also, the artists in the exhibition were able to do a Q&A at the end of the reception. Be sure to check out the entire article at http://www.thetrailblazeronline.net/news/article_905e5372-e82a-11e6-8f0d-4704ac70567b.html

Patience

I am a relatively patient person, at least I try to be. I taught 5-17 year olds math for 5 summers in a row. I have waitressed at the same restaurant for the past 2 years. I work 5 days out of the week, the same shift, I see the same people and hear the same stories, everyday. 

But this is a new patience. It's so hard sitting around and waiting to hear back from exhibitions or from individuals. I check my email three times a day and usually have the same outcome, "No new messages." This is hard, but I am learning how to be even more proactive. Instead of waiting, I am out doing. I am getting my name out there. I am speaking one on one to people. I am posting more on Facebook and Instagram (more than just my usual selfies ;) )

I have so many ideas for my future and it's hard, because I want to do them all, but I am learning that I don't have to do it all this week. 

The following is an excerpt from Tim Ferriss' book, "Tools of Titans"

Don't Be A Donkey

Tim: "What advice would you give to your 30-year-old self?"
Derek: "Don't be a donkey."
Tim: "And what does that mean?"

Derek: "Well, I meet a lot of 30 year-olds who are trying to pursue many different directions at once, but not making progress in any, right? They get frustrated that the world wants them to pick one thing, because they want to do them all: 'Why do I have to choose? I don't know what to choose!' But the problem is, if you're thinking short-term, then [you act as though] if you don't do them all this week, they won't happen. The solution is to think long-term. To realize that you can do one of these things for a few years, and then do another one for a few years, and then another. You've probably heard the fable, I think it's 'Buridan's ass,' about a donkey who is standing halfway between a pile of hay and a bucket of water. He just keeps looking left to the hay, and right to the water, trying to decide. Hay or water, hay or water? He's unable to decide, so he eventually falls over and dies of both hunger and thirst. A donkey can't think of the future. If he did, he'd realize he could clearly go first to drink the water, then go eat the hay. 

"So, my advice to my 30-year-old self is, don't be a donkey. You can do everything you want to do. You just need foresight and patience." 

Glad I read this at 23. Check out this book, for real though :

https://www.amazon.com/Tools-Titans-Billionaires-World-Class-Performers/dp/1328683788

Being just an artist...

The moment is finally here! Everything I've ever wanted to do is at the grasp of my fingertips. No more school, no more assignments, no more class. It's so exciting and exhilarating and wonderful, and yet it's scary, it's exhausting, it's time consuming. Plus add on the heap of people I have surrounding me asking, "What's next?" "Are you going back to school?" "Are you going to be an art teacher?"

This is why I feel it's necessary for me to clear up a few things.

1) I am not going to be an art teacher.  (Not yet, anyway) As many of you know, I owe a lot of my success to my amazing high school art teacher, Carolyn Gibson, also known as Ms. G, and I would love to follow in her footsteps, one day. However, I do not feel as if this is the right time for me. I have not traveled nor experienced enough of this world to be even half the educator she was. 

2) I am not going back to school. (Again, not right now) I plan on getting my Masters degree near my late 20's, early 30's.

3) I am not going to look for a Graphic Design job. Thank you for your suggestions, they're lovely and very considerate but for me to progress as the artist I want to be, I have to solely focus on my photography for the next 5-6 months.

4) I don't have a set plan and I am 100% okay with that. I know not a lot of people understand the path I'm on right now, and that's okay, too. 

So what I am doing.

1) Applying for everything. Literally. Everything. I spend most hours of my day researching art exhibitions, grants, residencies, etc. 

2) Working as much as I can to save money.

3) Shooting weddings/engagements because I do enjoy them very much and I learn a lot from them.

4) Living. Learning. And trying to become the best photographer that I can be. 

This is my time to make it and I honestly can't wait to see what 2017 holds for me. So, if you're in this boat with me, let me know. Artists helping artists, right?